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Gracious Living / Victorian Life:
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Gracious Living / Victorian Life:
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Weddings Gone With The Wind pages "The character of a gentleman is measured, not by the extent of his paternal estate, or by the length of his pedigree, but by his moral and intellectual worth and good manners." Morrisons' Strangers's Guide and Etiquette, for Washington City and it's Vicinity, 1862 more quotations
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Victorians took their dining very seriously. There at the dinner table, be it formal or middle-class everyday, they could slow down from the hectic pace of living and gather together to share their experiences and discuss issues of their time, just as we do today. Only the rules are different. Those knowing the rituals were accepted. Those who tripped up were shunned as having less than noble character and breeding. Many table manners mimicked those of the nobility and became so important during the late 19th century that etiquette books and manuals poured off the presses. Those books often contained recipes and explicit diagrams/instructions as to where the glasses, silver and dishes were to be placed on the table. Some went to far as to advise on decorating the dining room. The room was to have a sideboard and a door or pass through into the kitchen for serving ease. A china cabinet was necessary whenever affordable. Menus were required, either printed or handwritten. The more formal the occasion, the more formal the menu. The food being served was listed, of course, along with the names of those offering toasts, the words of the toasts; the speakers and anyone doing anything other than eating. Menus might be so fancy, replete with gold leaf lettering and tassels, and representative of a special occasion, they sometimes were taken home as a memento. Table settings:
The mounds of food offered at formal meals were often massive. The fanciest of dinners might consist of as many as twelve courses, beginning with appetizers and, perhaps, light veggies and a soup, more vegetables, meat or fish entrée with vegetables, a refreshing, light punch to cleanse the palette, nuts, more fish, salad, fruit and cheese, dessert with water, and finally coffee liqueurs with cigars for the men, and coffee for the women. While European practices were incorporated, the serving of alcohol being one, Victorians generally frowned upon such drink. "You can not know what harm you may do your guests by placing wine before them. You may create in your friend an appetite for strong drink; you may renew a passion long controlled." American Etiquette and Rules of Politeness, A. E. Davis 1882 Behavior:
With our casual way of things these days, I am proud to say I recognize many of these rules because my dear mother taught them to me. May proper etiquette never go out of style.
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