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Doctor "I would have lived much longer if it had not been for you." Louis XIII of France to his physician "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." Josh Billings "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." Robert Benchley "Dogs are fantasies that don't disappoint." Caroline Knapp "Dogs are so overrated." Gateway ad "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth." Anne Tyler "I am probably smarter than the smartest dog that's ever lived." Malcolm in the Middle "I don't know who I am without my dogs." Oprah Winfrey "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." Rita Rudner "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very very few persons." James Thurber "If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise."' Unknown "Little dogs make your apartment seem bigger." Cesar ad "Little dogs take shorter walks." Cesar ad "Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick ? "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." Fran Lebowitz "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." Christopher Morley "Nothing makes waiting in a hall more pleasant than excessive barking." Less than Perfect "Puppy breath is one of the most fond memories." Tom Cat "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." Andrew Rooney "The more I see of men, the more I love dogs." Virginie di Catiglione, mistress of Napoleon III "To err is human, to forgive, canine." Jeff and Bill Keane, Family Circus "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." Aldous Huxley "What's not to like about dogs?" Gilmore Girls "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." Gene Hill "Work like a dog. Eat like a dog." Nancy Kamp "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God! You're right! I never would have thought of that." Dave Barry "You just can't reason with a dog." Buckles Dog toy "A wad of filth held together by gallons of congealed dog spit." Dave Barry Doughnut "Don't have to shave your legs to enjoy a bag of doughnuts." Janet Evanovich, Plum Lovin' "Every time is doughnut time." Tim Dorsey, Triggerfish Twist
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