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Your Treasure Chest of Memories By Jane Marie
Whether a death is recent or some time has passed, it remains a loss. Those of us who have been warmed and cuddled by an animal friend, those who have smiled at the playful antics of a pet must focus on the wonderful treasure chest of memories that our innocent friends have left for us. It is so much easier to give into our sadness than to fight the battle to uncover that treasure chest. The key is to allow the pain time to lessen. And it will because grieving for a person or an animal is the same. Grief has specific stages from shock and denial to guilt and anger, then sorrow and depression. You may not feel every stage of guilt, or you might feel them all. Human emotions are unpredictable as to degree. Go ahead and cry. Dry your tears and then cry some more. You miss you sweet, childlike companion, miss him or her more than you can verbally express. This was the one creature on earth that never corrected you, who never told you what to do or how to do it, never told you that you were silly or fat or dumb or asked anything more of you than food, water and love. Now this special friend has left and you are alone with your misery. Those innocent, innocent eyes that watched you, studied you as if you were the king of their world - because you were, are no longer here to lavish you with adoration. They are no longer here to make you feel safe and loved, no longer here for you to love right back. It is a natural and good thing to grieve. Whether you are grieving as a family or alone, let it out. Should you have other pets, they, too, will feel the loss. Animals are not only smart but intuitive. Play with those left behind if you're fortunate enough to have them. Give them special treats. Spoil them in between your crying, beating of pillows and stamping your feet. Next, you'll do what needs to be done, bury your pet. A formal goodbye will help, be it a silent ceremony in the backyard, a marker in a pet cemetery, or a tribute on a web page. Perhaps you've written a eulogy or a poem. Pull out the photo album and gather the pictures of you and your dear animal. Study them and remember. Just by involuntarily thinking of your precious friend, you honor him or her. Your body will know when to stop the outward grieving. You'll find yourself going about your everyday business and sweet memories will creep into your thoughts - perhaps the road trip you took together or the walk on the beach or the daily brushing that your angel loved. You'll surprise yourself that you're smiling and remember the dog you had when you were little who tore your undershirts to bits, the kitty who always slept on top of the TV and fell off during his dreams, or the bird who only talked when you left the room. You will know when the time is right to bring another pet into your home. The new creature won't replace the one who has gone. How could it? However, your new friend needs a loving home as much as you need a loving friend. There are so many strays out there that you will be doing yourself and the new animal a real service by inviting it into your life. Be grateful for the happy, but far too short, time you've spent with your pet. If only pets could be with us forever. But that's what memories are for.
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